Once upon a time, bookstagram told me I would love this one particular book and it seemed like everyone loved it, but then I read it and didn’t love it and I’m not sure I’ve ever felt quite so betrayed before. I’m sad to admit, this has happened more than once, now I have a non-definitive guide for dealing with life’s literary disappointments.
1. Lets be frank, sometimes you just have to cry.
Weep, child, weep. Grab the ice-cream, the pillows, the bed sheets and weep until you have no tears left. Your heart is broken, allow yourself to feel the pain. Scream into the pillow if you have to. Watch a sad movie if you want to feel it even more. Cry in the shower, cry in the rain, just feel the pain. FEEL IT.
2. Go to Goodreads. Find the book. Filter the reviews to only show 1 stars. Bask in the mutual hate you share with these kindred spirits.
Shout YES at your computer. Why put up with being alone when you can hate this book with other people? For some reason, human kind feels the need to be justified in their emotions, so you go get that justification in the form of one star goodreads reviews. Go on, you know you want to. Be petty. Embrace it. Enjoy it.
3. Glare at the book. Yell at it too. Maybe even throw it across the room.
So you’re past heartbreak, you’ve been through the stages of sadness, and you no longer feel that wide open hole of emptiness and grief, in fact, that hole has filled up with burning hot rage. You deserved better than this. The hype mistreated you. The problem is, you can’t take your rage out on the hype. What’s the next best thing? The book itself.
4. Contemplate selling it. Or return it to the library. But NEVER burn or rip it.
Say goodbye to that heartbreaker. You don’t need it anymore. The sooner you’re rid of it the better. Move on! You deserve better than to have its negative influence around you all the time.
5. Create a hate club.
Meet every Friday at four p.m. with appropriate disguises and be petty. Be your angriest, pettiest, more spiteful self. And do it surrounded by likeminded individuals.
BONUS: 6. Gift it to someone you dislike.
They might even think you’re being nice – double bonus!
Special thanks to my sister and brother-in-law for their contributions to this list.